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Rainbow Song (A Lullaby For Toddlers)
Published on October 10, 2012 by guest author: Steve LeBlanc

Last week my 19-month-old son Nat was up with a cold in the middle of the night. He was very distressed and we were having a hard time calming him down. I remembered how he recently had developed a bit of an obsession with rainbows, and so I made up a song to make him feel better and to help him go to sleep. It worked, and since then he has been demanding the song multiple times each night. Given that this song is so demand amongst my audience, I thought a few other toddlers might enjoy having it sung to them as well. Just make up your own melody (that’s what my wife did with the song). After a bit of tinkering after that first night, the lyrics ended up being:

 

If you close your eyes

When you go to sleep

You can see a rainbow in your dreams

You can see a rainbow in your dreams

 

Walking on a cloud

Colors at your feet

You can have a rainbow in your mind

You can have a rainbow in your mind

 

If you’re feeling fine

Lie down for a while

We will share your daydream through the night

If you’re not alright

Try to close your eyes

Sleep brings rainbows when you close your eyes

 

Walking on your feet

Nothing underneath

You can be a rainbow in the sky

You can be a rainbow in the sky

 

Steve LeBlanc lives in Lebanon, N.H., with his wife, son and two cats. His many interests include philosophy, theater, music and writing.

Previous Posts By This Author: A Lie on the Stormy Sea: A Poem

When She Sighs: A Poem


A Lie on the Stormy Sea: A Poem
Published on October 1, 2012 by guest author: Steve LeBlanc

Sleep till the dawn you’ve forgotten me
I’m almost, but not what I seem
Wait till the dawn then awaken me
Then I’ll be what you see in me

Sending a lie on a stormy sea
You’ll not be brought down by me

Sleep till the dawn unforgotten me
I drift where the weather’s wild
But storms cannot last and our days have passed
Now we rest where the wind is mild

Sending a lie on a stormy sea
You can’t know and won’t by me
Sending a lie on a stormy sea
You’ll not be brought down by me

Steve LeBlanc lives in Lebanon, N.H., with his wife, son and two cats. His many interests include philosophy, theater, music and writing.

Previous Posts By This Author: When She Sighs: A Poem

Life is a Fragile Thing (Or So They Say)


When She Sighs: A Poem
Published on September 26, 2012 by guest author: Steve LeBlanc

She’d been waiting for a while
And when he stopped by
She was sleeping
It didn’t matter that he tried
When she decided
Turned off the lights

When she sighs
He feels so tired
He gets so tired

They met when he was on a high
He and his friends
Had found the good life
But coming down she realized
That he never would be
Content with his life

And when she sighs
He feels so tired
Even when his everything is beautiful

She’d been waiting for a while
And when he stopped by
He found that she had finished crying
It wouldn’t matter that he tried
She had decided that she’d move on
With her life

And when she sighs
He feels so tired
He gets so tired

When she sighs
He feels so tired
He gets so tired

Steve LeBlanc lives in Lebanon, N.H., with his wife, son and two cats. His many interests include philosophy, theater, music and writing.

Previous Posts By This Author: Life is a Fragile Thing, Or So They Say

The Girl at the Pool


Thoughts on Stand-Up Comedy
Published on May 3, 2012 by Sara Foss

Over at the DG, I write about recent performances by two stand-up comics, Mike Birbiglia and Andy Pitz. I'm always interested in humor, and how it works, and stand-up comedy can provide insight into such matters.

Anyway, click here to read it.


And Another Thing!
An Easter Poem
Published on April 8, 2012 by guest author: Barry Wenig

The chocolate bunnies

Stare blindly out through candy eyes

And cellophane wrapping

Unaware of their fate

 

Surrounded by solid and hollow brethren

Some in profile

Bedecked with decorative ribbons

That mothers will toss away

 (More)


Socialized Medicine
Published on March 26, 2012 by Sara Foss

David Sedaris writes about his experiences with the French health care system here.


Writing My Biography
Published on March 1, 2012 by Sara Foss

Recently at work, I was asked to write a short biography for an upcoming advertising campaign. Everybody had to participate; it's not like I was singled out. Even so, I didn't want to do it. I just didn't feel like there was anything to be gained from summing up my life in a short paragraph for thousands of people to read. Which might sound funny, given that I write a blog and a column. But for some reason providing personal details for an advertising campaign rubbed me the wrong way.

So how did I respond to the assignment? By writing a bunch of fake biographies. For some reason, they weren't accepted, but I think if you string them all together they actually say quite a bit about me. Here they are:

"Sara Foss is a private detective. She runs her own agency, with some friends from her New Hampshire hometown. Her favorite tool is a magnifying glass, and she takes courses in forensics in her spare time. Her inspirations are Encyclopedia Brown and the Three Investigators. For fun, she plays billiards and goes bird watching."

 (More)


In Honor of Newt Gingrich and the Moon
Published on January 29, 2012 by Sara Foss

In honor of Newt Gingrich and his goofy moon colony obsession, I am posting one of the most hilarious pieces of writing ever: "Space Exploration is a Bunch of Baloney and the Moon is Boring." 

 


Things to Do, Things I've Done and Things That Have Happened
Scaring a Stranger
Published on January 15, 2012 by guest author: Steve LeBlanc

I’m sure we have all enjoyed the pleasure of scaring someone witless at one time or another.

Usually we are most comfortable doing this to someone we are close to. For instance, I know that if I toss anything that looks even remotely like a mouse in the direction of my wife’s face, she will scream and receive a terrible scare. Even after she realizes that the object is not a mouse, she still won’t be able to stop shaking for a minute or two. And I know from experience that, no matter how many times I pull this stunt, the shock it will give her will not diminish. Grey rolled-up socks, fuzzy microphone covers, cat toy mice, and real mice (dead or alive) are all great for scaring people who are afraid of mice.

Of course you don’t need any props to scare most people. All you have to do is to walk quietly up behind them and scream in their ears. This takes very little effort and is exceptionally effective. Given that it is so obviously easy to scare people, I am not going to write an article merely on how to give someone you know a good scare. I am not going to tell you how while in college my wife’s friend wrote “red-rum” backwards in glow-in-the-dark ink on the ceiling above my easily scared wife’s bed. Or about the likely effect of changing your wife’s computer’s desktop image to a screen shot of the scary face that briefly appears when the priest is walking out of the subway in "The Exorcist." Rather, I am going to write an article on what to do to give a stranger an absolutely terrifyingly scary and long lasting scare. (Something you should never do.)
 (More)


Measuring Pretentiousness
Published on January 15, 2012 by Sara Foss

Calvin Trillin is a very funny writer, and on Slate he proposes a new way of measuring pretentiousness: the Asshole Correlation Index.

Click here to learn all about it.